y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
