My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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