Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
