Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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