i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
