i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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