How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
