Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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