i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
