I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize