the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
