If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
