i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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