and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
do nipples grow back?
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