can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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