BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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