OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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