OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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