Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
