the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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