god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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