I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
