She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
