he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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