and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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