I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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