That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
