just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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