I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
