waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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