This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
