its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize