he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
