We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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