What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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