she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize