Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
