Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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