Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
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You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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