I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
