Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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