Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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