I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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