He asked to "fluff my boner.."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
