i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I sprained my soul last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
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I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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