I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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