Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
