Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
