watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
