i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Your penis caused this!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
