Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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