yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
