He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
