I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
