Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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