do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
