his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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