Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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