At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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