So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
