i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
