i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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