I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
