Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
