She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
